He went to Jared!
by redconvoy
Summary: Amane invited the whole family to meet her new fiance, except he has not asked for her hand in marriage yet! Meanwhile Bakura and Ryo are waiting patiently or impatient in Bakura's case and Yugi and Atem are somewhere doing who knows what!


Disclaimer: None of this is mine. I am only doing a parody of the Jared's Commercial featuring the Yugioh characters. If you take Yugioh way too seriously, don't read this. If you hate Shonen-ai, hit the back button.

Warning: Ryo is a girl in this. It's not to be politically correct (I hate these two words). It's more of a goof. If you watched the original Yugioh, you would know that a woman does Ryo's voice. She's a hoot to listen to because she gets into the evil character more.

HE BOUGHT IT AT JARED'S!

Amane had wanted everyone in her family to meet her fiancé. For once she had found someone decent and worthy. The boy had promised to take care of her and love her always. Of course, he had not asked her to marry her yet. Everyone in the Bakura family had arrived as well as the in-laws on the mother's side. Of course, every Bakura was there including the Tomb Robber Bakura in the posh mansion sized home.

The former Thief King wondered when "Mister Wonderful" would finally grace the family with his presence. He was already itching to leave, but Ryo kept talking him out of exploding in rage. Of course, Atem and Yugi were there…somewhere…with the former pharaoh's little princely son, Khenti. The little tanned prince who looked like a little clone of his father with the eyes of his ancient mother, sat on Ryo's lap giggling as he played with the necklace she wore. The white haired girl did not mind taking care of the child. She secretly wanted one of her own, but she knew that she had to finish school first. Bakura had already given her that lecture. Sometimes the Thief King would bring her back down to Earth.

"Where the hell are the S and M twins!" Bakura growled. "I swear, Atem knows when to disappear."

"They took a walk and I said I'd watch Khenti." She smiled fondly at the boy in her arms.

Bakura noticed that look and then rolled his eyes. Not again! He was not going to have this talk again!

"I want a cookie!" Khenti squealed as Ryo shook her head.

"Not now. We're waiting for someone special to my younger sister. We have to wait for him to have a cookie." She smiled.

"He's going to have a cookie too?" He asked.

"Yes. We're all going to have cookies." She laughed as Bakura snorted.

"I want a beer." He huffed. "You could keep the cookies."

Ryo swatted him playfully in the arm. The Tomb Robber only smirked back at her.

"Where's dad and momma? How come they aren't here?" Khenti asked.

"They're playing tonsil hockey!" Bakura spat.

"Bakura!" Ryo scolded.

"Is tonsil hockey fun? Could I play?" The prince asked with an excited glint in his eyes.

"Ask your parents when they come back." The former Tomb Robber answered with a devious grin as Ryo glared at him.

"Okay!" The child replied.

"HE'S HERE!!!" Amani announced peering out the window to the side of the front door.

"Whoopdie fucking do!" Bakura growled under his breath as he crossed his arms across his chest. "The asshole better be worth the wait!"

"Bakura, be nice." Ryo warned.

"Mom! Look! He has something with him! I think this is it!" The blond haired girl squealed as her mother joined her at the door excited as well.

"HE WENT TO JARED!" The mother shouted as Bakura quirked a brow.

"What the fuck…" He started as other family members perked up at this announcement.

"He went to Jared?" Another female relative asked excited as well.

"Yes! He went to Jared!" Amane announced back.

"He went to Jared!" Mister Bakura was excited as well.

"Is your family naturally stupid?" Bakura asked Ryo as the white haired girl sighed.

"Sometimes." She answered.

"Oh my! I wonder what he got!" Amane was hopping up and down with her hands clasped in her mother's hands. "HE WENT TO JARED!"

"What is Jared?" Bakura asked trying not to curse up a storm.

"What is Jared? WHAT IS JARED?" Amane's voice became loud.

"Yes! I asked you a question." The former Tomb Robber retorted. "Now tell me without the drama!"

"Jared is only the best jewelry store in the world!" She pointed out. "If you want to say you love someone, you go there to prove that you would only buy the best."

"Oooooookay." Bakura answered as a knock on the door was heard. "I could get a better quality diamond out of Kaiba's ass!" He growled.

"YEAAAAAAHH!!! WE ALL GET COOKIES!" The little prince shouted as Bakura snickered and Ryo sighed.

"You had to tell him that, didn't you." The former Tomb Robber reminded his wife.

"Be quiet Bakura." She growled as Amane opened the door.

"Oh Hiroshi! I only wanted you to meet my family! You shouldn't have!" Amane dramatically gasped as Ryo closed her eyes and Bakura rolled his.

"I didn't. This is for your sister and her husband. You told me they got married recently, so I thought I would give them both a wedding gift." He stated as Amane's face fell and Bakura almost choked on air.

"Oh! Of course!" The blond girl faked a smile. "That was very nice of you." She motioned for him to approach the two. "They are there on the couch with the child." Amane glared at the couple for stealing her spotlight.

Bakura kept from busting out laughing from the irony of the situation. Amane had made such a big deal out of her fiancé going to Jared and now she was probably embarrassed beyond belief. Not only that, she was fuming!

Hiroshi had made his pleasant greetings to everyone as he approached the two last. Ryo did not look up at him embarrassed for her sister. Bakura rose to his feet as Khenti looked up at the teen with wide amethyst eyes. Ryo's arms around the child kept him from leaping off her lap to tackle Hiroshi in a hug.

"I didn't know what to get you two, but since we're going to be family, I thought I would get you both something to remember your wedding day." He handed the bag to Bakura. "It only fit in that bag. I didn't have time to wrap it."

"Thanks kid. You're okay." Bakura shook Hiroshi's hand as Ryo looked up at him.

"Thank you Hiroshi. Whatever it is, you know we'll appreciate it." She smiled warmly.

"You're welcome." He smiled as he walked away.

Bakura sat back down with the bag as he took out a box. Everyone's attention was away from the couple and back toward Amane and Hiroshi.

"That boy is too nice for her." The former Tomb Robber growled as Atem and Yugi walked into the living room. "It's about time you two came back! Where the hell have you been!"

"What did we miss?" The former pharaoh asked.

"Sweet irony!" Bakura grinned deviously.

"Hey daddy! Can I play tonsil hockey with you and momma?" Khenti asked as Ryo groaned and Bakura burst out laughing.

"WHAT!!!" Atem almost shouted in shock as Yugi turned a few shades of red. "Bakura, what the hell are you teaching my child!"

END


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